This past month, I celebrated 28 years of glorious existence on this
earth; namely “glorious” because unlike my fellow wacky artistic types, I
was smart enough not to find permanent membership on the “Dead at 27”
list.
Like all of my birthdays that had come prior, I
found myself being showered with varying sums of money from my
relatives. Now, I’m not certain where said tradition originated: perhaps
I was denoted long ago as one of those “hard to buy for” individuals or
maybe my family members simply have the extra disposable cash. Either
way, for as long as I can remember, the August season has consistently
been ushered in by the receipt of cheque-filled envelope upon envelope
in my mailbox.
I jokingly remarked to my mom this year,
“When do you think I’ll reach the cut-off age? I’ve come to rely on
receiving that extra annual income.” While I assure you the
aforementioned statement was entirely made in jest, it
brought to light an interesting modern day dilemma: at what age is one
now considered an quote unquote adult? In other words, it’d be hard to
imagine me (or anyone for that matter!) reaching 40 or 50 years of age
and still receiving birthday spending money from their extended family
members.
If we trace back through human history, “adulthood” was seemingly easier to
define. In the Medieval era, a woman was signed up for marriage and
childbirth the moment she demonstrated her first signs of fertility.
During the early 1900s, mandatory military training began for boys as
early as age 10. The moment you hit 18, you’d be enlisted to the draft
lottery, whether you were a lover or a fighter. In stark contrast, in
today’s world, we, as a country, can’t even seem to agree upon what the
legal drinking age should be!
Nowadays, it’s not uncommon
for men and women within their late 20s and 30s to still be floundering
when it comes to a set career path and/or reliant on their parents for
financial support. Despite having access to superior education and
opportunities, many of us (and it’s not for lack of
trying) just can’t seem to “grow up”. Of course, this calls into
question yet another existential dilemma: what exactly does it mean to
be “grown up”?
But before we open that can of worms,
there’s another query that requires addressing: “why does any of this
matter?” Well, psychological research has uncovered time and time again
that humans’ number one fear is death (public speaking, interestingly,
ranks second). Given that humans, as a species, are able to cognitively
contemplate existence and come to grips with the notion that ALL living
things are tied to a fairly predictable life cycle, it must be
understood that this fear is not simply about losing
the function of one’s physical form. In order to understand death and
our fear of it then, one must look beyond its literal meaning and
instead into the world of symbolism.
Intertwined with the
fear of death is also a “fear of the unknown” (ie: What happens when I
lose my physical form? Is there an afterlife? Should I have believed in
something? Will I return in another form in the future?). More pertinent to our discussion however,
a fear of death is as well largely tied to a “fear of failure” (ie: I’m
running out of time. There are so many things I want/ed to accomplish.
How will I be remembered? Did I do enough?) Whether you are consciously
aware of it or not, each year we age, these types of contemplations
become increasingly important to us.
What I’m trying to
get at is that throughout our history and even still today, “adulthood”
has been defined by the accomplishment of specific milestones at set
ages: a standardized checklist, if you will, of obtaining education
(teens to 20s), establishing/maintaining a career (mid 20s to 50s),
getting married (late 20s to early 30s), having 2.5 kids (late 20s to
early 30s), buying a home with a snazzy white picket fence (mid to late
30s), retirement (mid 60s) and so forth. This “idealization” however
fails to take into account changing social, political and cultural
circumstances. Accordingly, many of us live “stressed out” and become
increasingly depressed as we age because we’re unable to “measure up.”
As
humans are a social species that highly value group membership, failing
to accomplish these established “life goals” (as determined by our
larger social group) presents yet another potential fear coming to
light: that of ostracism. In other words, there’s no worst “death” than
“dying alone.”
Taking all of the above into consideration,
I’d like to suggest that this traditional model of “adulthood” is
short-sighted and out-dated (to say the least). Having life goals IS
absolutely essential, BUT in my 28 years on earth, if in fact I’ve
learned anything, it’s this simple truth: true age and
“maturity” (and therefore what constitutes adulthood/growing up) cannot
and should NOT be merely defined by a number OR series of tangible
accomplishments. After all, we’ve all known “adults” whose behaviour is
juvenile, at best, and “children” who take us by surprise by the wisdom
they effortlessly espouse.
Instead, I’d like to propose
that we should assess age (and “adulthood”) by one’s level of
“psychological maturity”: the ability to encounter all of life’s
circumstances with a non-defensive introspective empathetic responsible
point of view. Yes, I know that’s a rather loaded statement! It goes
without saying that maintaining consistency when it
comes to adopting/applying a “psychologically mature” perspective is by
far the most trying aspect of this entire exercise.
Never
fear my friends! With that said, this month’s lesson comes directly off
of a page from my recent birthday book: ASK QUESTIONS. Rarely is there a
time something should be accepted at its “face value” or “assumed”
about. True understanding and therefore appropriate “mature” reaction is
ONLY possible when one has inquired to learn all sides of the equation.
Wednesday 30 August 2017
Vol #2, Finale: Growing Up & Growing Old: Not Necessary Synonymous Terms
Sunday 30 July 2017
Vol #2, Col #7: Laughter IS the Best Medicine
Remember when your mom used to tell you not to hold your
face in grotesque positions for too long, otherwise it might stick that way?
While mom may have ever-so-slightly exaggerated her words of caution (though
frown lines can permanently leave their mark if said facial expression is held
consistently for a lengthy period of time!), one could take the essence of this
warning and reasonably apply it to psychological thought patterns.
In other
words, “addictions” do not merely need to consist of physiological accommodations resulting from the
regular ingestion of foreign substances. No, certain thought patterns –
particularly of the negative variety – can equally become so ingrained, so
habitual, that one doesn’t even realize they’ve become “stuck” in a singular
mindset – that they’ve developed “pathological” thinking. This of course brings
me to this month's topic of discussion: that of, “psychological
framing.”
Now anyone who’s studied cinema or even is an avid Oscars viewer knows that 9 times out of
10, accolades are given to dramas and tragedies over movies that itch your
funny bone. This bias is equally perpetuated in our educational system in that,
at least in my highschool experience, the only taste of the world’s greatest
writer we received revolved around his tales of misery, betrayal, murder and
star-crossed lovers.
From an evolutionary psychology perspective, this makes
sense: humans, given the treacherous terrain in which we found ourselves (in our
primitive days), needed to have a stronger sensibility of negative stimuli in
order to properly assess risks and therefore, aid in our self-preservation as a
species. Believe it or not, having a pessimistic and/or paranoid perspective,
at one point, was actually considered a valuable asset!
I suppose in order to continue to justify (at least on a
subconscious level) why we rank tragedies supreme, we’ve developed complicated
symbologies relating to media that assess ‘dark tales’ are somehow more
illustrative of “universal” truths, wisdoms and experiences. We’ve convinced
ourselves that despondent emotions and melodrama go hand-in-hand with the “human
condition,” and that true “growth”, at least according to the world of pop
culture, can only occur after deep suffering or loss.
Well, I hate to offend any aspiring filmmakers or actors,
but the truth of the matter is that you can equally learn valuable lessons
about others and yourself from laughing just as much as you can from crying.
Humans are a complicated mess of logical and illogical thoughts, actions and
motives and only considering one side of the equation will NEVER give you the
full picture. But I’m not here to justify my preference when it comes to
cinematic experiences ;) Just saying…
The reason I bring up Evan
Almighty is because this Steve Carell comedy is actually chalked full of
stunning examples of “psychological framing”; the most quintessential of which
is evident during God’s discussion with Evan’s wife about the true meaning
behind the Noah’s Ark tale. Allow me to explain:
At this point in the film, Evan’s wife (portrayed by Lauren
Graham of Gilmore Girls fame) is
feeling confused, hurt, abandoned and perhaps most importantly, unacknowledged
by Evan because, despite all of the negative repercussions that are coming
about as a result of his inexplicable self-proclaimed mission to build an ark,
he continues to stride forward. Accordingly, Graham comes to the conclusion
that the Noah story is nothing more than the tale of an individual man taking
on an individual quest – perhaps because he feels he needs to “prove something”,
even if it’s at the detriment of everyone else in his life. God (depicted by
Morgan Freeman) however presents a very different analysis.
Given that the crux of the Noah tale revolves around the
importance of saving “two” of each species to ensure future propagation,
Freeman suggests it’s actually the ultimate love story, rather than one celebrating
man’s “independence” or “self-serving” motivations. His character goes on to
surmise that the underlying theme above all others is actually the importance
of family and companionship.
Okay okay, so how on earth does any of this relate to my
work situation? Quite simply, the above depiction demonstrates one of the most
basic tenants of “psychological framing”, moreover “psychological maturity”:
there’s ALWAYS more than one way of looking at a given situation. I could be totally bummed and feel like a
failure that I essentially got a “needs improvement” stamp on my
dear-to-my-heart submission that I worked my ass off on OR I could acknowledge that I must have
“something” if my employer was willing to take the time to provide constructive
feedback so that I can improve upon the idea for future consideration.
What I’m hoping you’ll recognize from this movie
critique/academic discourse/Rose’s real life example is just how POWERFUL one’s
thought processes truly are. How one is able to react to a given situation is entirely determined by how they’re
willing or unwilling to “frame” it.
In Graham’s explanation of the Noah tale, she “thinks” (or
frames) herself as helpless (ie: it’s an independent quest in which she has no
role) and therefore “becomes” just that (ie: she’s relegated to sitting back
and letting her life and family fall apart). In contrast, in Freeman’s version
of the story, because companionship and the importance of being supportive
toward one’s partner, even if you don’t always get where they’re coming from is
emphasized, Graham is able to regain a sense of agency and feel “important” and
“essential” to her husband’s mission, even if his reasoning is beyond her.
So here’s the thing: life – it never goes exactly as
planned. Even when you’re sure this time, things are failsafe, it’s always a
smart move to have a contingency. So while you cannot – as much as you
may like to try – control the external elements or individuals around you, you
most certainly can take an active role in your own life. That role
begins with how you think.
Friday 30 June 2017
Vol #2, Col #6: Is Time Really On Your Side?
Perhaps the second most written about topic, next to
love, is time. Our culture abounds with clichés, idiomatic expressions (and
song titles!) about the passing of the hour: time after time, third time’s the
charm, let’s make up for lost time…the list goes on. The irony of this of
course is the fact that few of us are masters at “keeping to the clock” (unless
of course the activity in which we’re engaged is a necessary evil such as
work!).
Now it goes without saying, we all sometimes need
(and more importantly, deserve) a “time out”. Me personally? I relish in “not-showering-staying-in-my-pjs-all-day”
kind of days. Undoubtedly, the value of such lies in their infrequency (ie: it’s
not exactly like we can afford to relegate ourselves to our flannels whenever
we see fit). All of this brings me naturally to the question of “how do YOU
spend YOUR time?”
A few months ago, you may remember The Interrobang (this here fantastic
student-run publication to which your attention is currently glued) elected to
run a readership survey in order to derive valuable feedback in terms of its
strong points and suggested areas of improvement. While you, the audience, by
and large, ranked our content satisfactorily, it would seem you were displeased
with our allowable word counts. In other words, you feel us writers are simply
too verbose (myself included)!
Now admittedly when I was pursuing academic studies
myself (and believe me I got my fair share after six years straight!), there
was only so much written textbook doctrine I could stomach on a daily basis. In
order to get through the copious amount of assigned readings each month, I’d
pace myself by powering through one to three (at max) chapters a night, taking
30 minute breaks in between to ensure I properly digested the material before
moving forward. Given the time I was expected to devote to the written word,
there was a LOW likelihood you would find me cracking open a novel just for
kicks during my time off. To make a long story short, I do empathize with your
situation.
However (and yes you knew this was coming), it’s
becoming increasingly difficult to relate to a so-called “lack of time” to
engage in thoughtful contemplation and information acquisition -something that
could easily be accomplished by reading one of the fine articles in our paper -
purported by not just students, but the populous in general, when it would seem
that countless hours are devoted to the “art of time suckage” whether it be via
following the drama-rama on Facebook, listing your ever-so-exciting grocery
shopping experiences on Twitter or being one of the million people addicted to NicePeter’s “Epic Rap Battles of
History”.
Again, let me be clear: I don’t have a beef with any
of the above nor do I find fault in the concept of “vegging out”. My issue is
when the aforementioned activities are PRIORITIZED above meaningful personal or
social engagements and then somehow dismissed as “un-time-consuming” when one
is struggling to come up with a valid list of excuses as to why their essay was
not submitted by the deadline yet again or their work is falling short of
expectations. Put more plainly, people – please - get your shit in gear! This
of course, is easier for some than others.
As psych research has demonstrated, one of the “Big
Five” individual tendencies you’re either born with or without is
“conscientiousness”, defined as: “a fundamental personality trait that
influences whether people set and keep long-range goals, deliberate over
choices or behave impulsively, and take seriously obligations to others,”
(Psychology Today: Psych Basics).
Of important note, “conscientiousness” has been
positively correlated with a whole range of pro-social behaviours and desirable
life outcomes including: academic and/or occupational excellence, longevity of
life and overall strong health, marital stability, diminished or lack of
substance use, stable mental condition and lower incidence of criminal activity
(Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; Journal of Personality;
Psychological Bulletin). Suffice it to say, time management pays off!
Just because you inherited your parents’ “walk on
the impulsive” side of life attributes however doesn’t mean you’re justified in
being ripe with constant excuses. Conscientiousness can be learned and
instilled in your routine, but first it’s a matter of identifying the wormholes
in your world.
With this in mind, this month’s advice transverses
beyond simple “written instruction” to “active participation”: I urge all of
you caught up in the “there’s never enough time” mentality to track your time
allotment of each of your daily activities in a journal for a period of one
month (ie: Mon: 8 hours sleep, 2 hours studying, 1 hour for dinner and tv,
Tues: 6 hours sleep, 5 hours doing homework etc).
Following the month’s end, review the areas to which
you’ve devoted the most hours and
see where adjustments can be made. I assure you you’ll be surprised with just
how much more “productive” time you’ll be able to find by cutting out (or least
cutting down) the hours you “waste” on activities that, in essence, don’t
propel you further in any capacity.
Ah but therein lies the rub: if you have no goals toward which you’re working,
time proves irrelevant and… unlimited. I’m gonna hazard a guess though that as
fellow academics (that are likely studying to pursue career dreams) the
previous statement fails to apply.
Tuesday 30 May 2017
Vol #2, Col #5: Cleanliness is Next to…
A couple of years ago, my significant other and I were
making our initial “introductory rounds” (ie: meeting each other’s family for
the first time) and decided, while we were in the neighbourhood, to drop in on
one of his couples friends. While the pair was/is lovely and we got along just
swimmingly, there’s no lighter way to phrase it: I was appalled by the state in
which they kept their living quarters.
In their defense, I will say they were not expecting our
company. However, I could not then and still cannot now understand how anyone
could possibly tolerate living with clearly visible dirt and debris. The icing
on the cake was the fact that their house had seen such neglect from upkeep
that one of their children’s pets – a goldfish – was floating bellyside up in a
fish bowl, apparently unbeknownst to them.
After this incident, it began to come to my attention just
how UNcommon this situation among our demographic is. The more I got invited
over to my own friends’ houses, the more I realized that tidiness does not seem
to be a universally embraced ideal.
At the risk of sounding like a germaphobe, admittedly I was
and continue to be shocked by this notion given that I’m frankly embarrassed to
invite over company if my home has not been cleaned the week of. Furthermore if
my mom, for instance, is coming to town, I will clean every inch of my
apartment so thoroughly that it’d be fit for the arrival of the Queen herself
and should she so choose, she could eat off the floors without any fear of
adverse physical reaction!
Aside from the obvious health benefits to living in a “dust
bunny”-free environment, how one maintains or fails to maintain one’s personal
habitat will affect how others view your character and even your sense of
morality! Did you know, for example, that the original Oxford English Dictionary definition of the term “slut” was “a
slovenly, untidy woman or girl”?
According to environmental psychologist Sally Augustin, “cleanliness”,
throughout our evolutionary history, was considered a valued trait given that a
home free of clutter would make it easier to spot potential predator attacks. While
this benefit may no longer be applicable in modern society, it does have an
unconscious psychological holdover: when one enters a messy living space – whether
it’s their own or you’re a visitor – it results in enhanced stress levels.
A lack of upkeep in regard to one’s physicality and/or the
physical spaces he/she occupies too has been linked to the mood disorder depression.
Among other symptoms, depression has been known to have a debilitating effect
on many of one’s motivations. With this in mind, it’s unsurprising that
counsellors often recommend “cleaning house” as a means of elevating one’s
mood. After all, the messier one’s house gets, the more it adds to one’s guilt
and merely continues the cycle of “not-good-enough-ness”.
As Jennifer B. Baxt explains, “taking the time to clean the
home from top to bottom is like cleaning [out] one's life. The dirt, dust and
clutter are done away with and the house has a fresher, more comfortable
atmosphere that the person can feel happier and more relaxed in.”
To this, Ayanna Guyhto adds that it’s the whole concept of
“Idle Hands, Idle Mind”: “by remaining sedentary, it gives your brain too much
time to focus on the things that are bothering you. By getting up and focusing
your attention on household tasks, you give yourself a mental diversion.”
Let’s just stop there for a second however to make one point
very clear: it’s highly unreasonable to suggest (and by no means am I
suggesting!) that EVERY individual who seemingly is not too concerned with the
condition of their home is suffering from the “Big D”. Clearly there must be
something else here at play. Wouldn’t you know it? Psychology again proves
illustrative.
Believe it or not laziness is a modern “invention”, largely
due to the comforts (and excesses!) of Western industrialized living. Despite
our incessant complaints and excuses which would suggest otherwise, apparently
we do have TOO much time on our hands and this, in effect results in the
rearing of laziness’ ugly twin brother’s head: procrastination.
As evolutionary psychologist Nando Pelusi points out, it
wasn’t until we no longer had to worry about constantly fending off
predators, protecting our kin or surviving off of scarce resources that we had
the “luxury” of dreaming of future actions. In the past, we held our energy in
reserve because we never knew when an immediate threat may be looming.
Nowadays, all that energy has the ability to build up, tricking us into
believing (at least on an unconscious level) that there will always be more time
to “get around to things.”
Given the multitude of distractions available to
occupy our time – the Facebooks, Twitters, and Youtubes of the world, for
starters – it isn’t hard to see why so many of us have lost sight of how to
properly “prioritize”…but more on that in another issue.
The point I’m trying to get at is quite simply: while
“cleanliness” may not necessarily be next to “godliness”, it certainly is
linked to “goodliness”…on many levels. In other words, my “neat-freakness” is
indicative of the fact I take great pride in appearances, value the idea of
hospitality, see my home as a reflection of my own work ethic, and perhaps most
importantly that I am within a balanced mental state. So I ask you all to ask
yourselves, “what does YOUR home say about YOU?” Is it time for yet more
introspection? Methinks so.
Sunday 30 April 2017
Vol #2, Col #4: A Few TOO MANY of my Favourite Things
I’m 28 years old and yes, I still sleep with my favourite
childhood stuffed animal. By no means do I consider myself a materialist – I still
wear some of my old highschool threads from many moons ago (yay for me, they
still fit!) and use a hairdryer I inherited from the 1970s (hey if it ain’t
broke, don’t fix it right?!) – but, for all of us, there are certain worldly
possessions that take on deeper meanings than their tangible properties. So is
the case with my nighttime companion; we have after all been through a lot
together.
He’s comforted me when I was down in the dumps and I’ve stitched
him back together more than once due to my older brother’s plots to wreak
havoc! In fact, I still bring the little guy with me every time I travel. To be
perfectly honest, I just don’t sleep the same way without him.
I often joke he’s been the most “consistent” man in my life.
While partners have come and gone, this toy has been with me through both my
triumphs and struggles, never judging and only offering support throughout this
journey we call life. In sum, believe it or not, this feisty rocker turned
writer’s most prized possession is a worn (I prefer to think “well-loved”)
discoloured misshapen green frog who simply goes by the name of Captain.
First toys, cars, kisses – well first “anythings” in life
really – seem to stick with us. Perhaps this is in part due to the “primacy
effect” (ie: a trend in learning noted by psychologists in which individuals
have a tendency to, when presented with material in a list/series, recall or
place significance on the first item), but I also think it has a lot to do with
personal identity development/expression as exercised by “choice”. Beyond the
people with whom we choose to surround ourselves (ie: you are who you hang
with), the possessions we ultimately choose to acquire, too, represent, in
part, how we wish to be seen and identified.
Think about it. Unlike a good majority of kids out there, it
wasn’t a Barbie doll, a toy truck or perhaps most commonly a stuffed bear that
defined me as a child. Instead, it was a frog.
Frogs in their animal form are colourful, slippery and fast
and they travel by impressively propelling themselves through the air (ie:
jumping). If we came up with human personality equivalents for those traits,
we’d get an individual who was “loud” (as in both volume and presence), hard to
pin down/fit into a box, witty and highly self-motivated. In other words, even
if I couldn’t describe myself in said fashion as a little girl, my childhood stuffed
animal choice very much demonstrates that I knew early on I would never be
content with blending in with the crowd. How I came to have Captain in my life
is equally an illustrative tale, but we’ll leave that one for another time ;)
So where am I going with this disclosure from my personal
life anyhow? Well, I merely wanted to set up a dichotomy when it comes to the
concept of “materialism”. In other words, when does the accumulation and
retention of goods leave the realm of “healthy nostalgia”/”personal expression”
and border on the pathological? Allow me to provide you with another example
for comparative purposes.
I recently took up a part-time role as the administrator for
a business wherein I was replacing an elderly lady who had committed herself to
said organization for 30+ years. Now this is no insult to her or her abilities,
but what I inherited in terms of office files, supplies and documents can only
be described as frighteningly overwhelming. Truly it’s as though she NEVER and
I mean NEVER threw out anything in the whole time period she worked there.
I understand it’s one thing to hold onto important
membership, financial or construction-related files as you never know when you
may need to reference them again in the future. THAT PART I GET. What I CANNOT
come to terms with however is why she felt it necessary to hold onto the scrap
pieces of waste paper from which you peel off mailing labels, knitting patterns
from the 1960s, instruction manuals for DOS discs and typewriters, out-of-date
volunteer schedules and mail-order catalogs, burnt out lightbulbs, used plastic
food trays, and at least two decade-year-old sugar and other condiment packets that
would no doubt cause serious poisoning upon ingestion…that is unless she had an
issue when it comes to letting things go.
With shows such as Buried
Alive, the above described compulsive behaviour known as “hoarding” has
seen a great deal of exposure in recent years. With any “TV land” depiction
however, the complexity of this psychological condition is typically only characterized
in superficial terms leading the general public to believe that, in Jason Elias’,
Behaviour Therapist, point of view, “these people are just slobs or lazy.” In
reality, this perception couldn’t be further from the truth.
From an evolutionary stance, the impulse to amass goods can
be traced to both our survivalist instincts and believe it or not… our mating
practises. As Biologist Tom Waite explains, in the animal kingdom, many species
will “hoard” excessive amounts of food in preparation for “survival” over the
winter months or long journeys. In reference to the second point, male animals,
in particular, also commonly “collect” and display their “various
accomplishments” (ie: the carcasses of prey they’ve successfully conquered,
among other things) in order to attract desirable female mates for the purposes
of prolonging their kin (again a survivalist instinct). In summary, the
amassment of food, carcasses and the like – in other words, “hoarding” - is
effective in attracting mates (which is directly linked to survival) because it
demonstrates that the given animal is strong and smart, but more importantly, a
good candidate for “providing” and/or “leading”. Wouldn’t you know it? Humans
desire the same traits in their romantic partners!
Let’s return to my administrative predecessor for a moment.
One thing I’d specifically like to draw your attention to is her age. Now,
obsessive-compulsive behaviours can affect any and all demographics (they
commonly run in families), but something to keep in mind when it comes to older
folks seemingly affected by this disorder is that many of them likely lived
through extremely trying economic times, such as The Great Depression. Why is
this important? Well, quite simply, if you experienced having NOTHING,
EVERYTHING becomes essential and worth holding onto, especially if you develop
a paranoia that circumstances could revert back to how they were.
The next point worth mentioning is that throughout my
training with this woman, there was not a single moment where she made
small-talk references to a husband, family or children. When someone occupies a
space for that long a period of time, they typically have personal mementos
visibly on display to complement the room; interestingly, there were NONE. While
she may have just been a very private person, another convincing theory is that
this career – her work – was literally all she had and the only way she was
able to “define”/”express” her identity. Consequently, she took great pride in
what she did and again EVERYTHING, including the everyday minutia, became
significant and was worth keeping.
Psychologists have noted that hoarding tends to coexist with
a “profound inability to make decisions” (Discover Magazine) and may even be
linked to other afflictions such as depression, which is recognized as having debilitating
effects on an individual’s motivation. Why my predecessor couldn’t throw
anything out I’ll never know for certain, but scientists agree that this
behaviour in humans is “a natural and adaptive instinct gone amok,” (Discover
Magazine) to put it lightly.
As Christmas has just passed and no doubt, in line with the
season’s modern day practice, all of you were showered with more and more
“stuff” as per the requests on your wish lists, I think it’s important that you
ask yourselves the following questions:
1) Why did I want these items?
2) What do these items mean to me?
3) How do these items define me?
4) Could I live without these
items?
While I’m not making the insinuation that any of you suffer
from the above discussed psychological dilemma, I believe it’s important to
understand and assess your desire for material things. While we’re all allow to
splurge once and awhile, the psychologically mature/psychologically-balanced
can effectively distinguish between their needs
and wants as well as the significant and insignificant. In other words, just as the saying goes when it
comes to true friends, you should be able count the most important items in
your life on one hand.
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